I promised someone a while back that I'd post more about why we think Ben might not be the typical toddler adoptee, especially for having come from China. What follows is purely speculation. I have no extensive knowledge of the Chinese foster care system, I only know what people have told me and what I have read. Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to tour any facilities while I was there, so I'm relying on secondary sources, even when it comes to the history of how my own son was raised.
All we have is the result. And he is truly remarkable. (Here he is helping me in the preparation of bacon, one our favorite foods.)
We were warned that Ben might have attachment problems, that he might reject us at first based on our American features, or that he might see us as just new caretakers rather than form a deeper parent-child bond. None of this has happened. From the very beginning he understood that I was his father and that Kari was his mother.
The foster care facility in Shenyang seems to have taken extra steps to socialize all of the children there. I was told that teachers would take children home on weekends to expose them to home life; indeed, Ben had a clear understanding of some concepts that I would not have expected had he been confined to only orphanage life for his first three years. I belong to a mailing list for parents adopting from the Shenyang province which provides further evidence for the extraordinary care that thse toddlers receive. I hope that other provinces are advancing just as quickly.
The apocryphal evidence that I obtained while in China suggests that, thanks largely to Western interest in adoption, conditions have improved dramatically for orphaned children. While I was in China I saw several government-sponsored advertisements and brochures encouraging adoption by native Chinese. The stigma of adoption seems to be receding and adoption is providing an opportunity for Chinese families to grow beyond the typical one-child-only restriction.
During our swearing-in ceremony, the US Customs official told us that in 2005, Chinese children adopted by American families achieved a record for adoptions between any two countries during a one-year period. It is a sign of the success Chinese government's recent foster care improvements that this record may stand for some time. During the trip we heard (unofficially) that it will become more annd more difficult to adopt children from China. Waiting periods will increase, fewer healthy babies will be available, greater restrictions on adopting families, more incentives for special needs adoption, etc.
This is the natural progression. Twenty years ago, it was Korea that led the way in international adoptions with the US. As conditions within that country improved, fewer children became available. China is going through this transformation now. Other countries may soon open up their restrictions on international adoptions and the cycle will continue. There couldn't be a more beautiful aspect to the spread of globalization.
