This morning began like any other morning. After letting the dogs out, I went down into the basement to relieve myself, little thinking of what danger might lie ahead.

Still in my early morning pre-caffienated state, I puzzled over the foamy bubbles that began to fill the toilet bowl as I emptied my bladder. The bubbles, in fact, threatened to overflow the bowl and I began to suspect that they might be the result of Clorox bleach left in the bowl (unflushed) as part of Kari's recent attempt at sanitization.

Those who paid attention in high school chemistry class can already see where this is heading.

I did pay at least a little bit of attention in high school chemistry class, so my brain, still only halfway through the bootup stage, began activating the neurons assigned to the words "bleach" and "ammonia" and "bad idea." My brain's "danger-avoidance" process had not yet been activated, but the "curiosity" process had, so I took a brief sniff.

You ever watch a boxing match, and between rounds the manager cracks open a vial of smelling salts and you see the groggy boxer shake his head and immediayely wake up? Well take that idea and multiply by about 150. Next thing I know, I'm out in the backyard wheezing with the smell of 5000 swimming pools swirling around my nostrils.

After regaining my composure, I went back inside, closing the door between the basement and the house and opening the door from the basement to the outside. As I was setting up an industrial-strength fan in the basement (while holding my breath), I began to ponder the fact that Kari had just verified her status as primary beneficiary of my life insurance policy only two days prior.

Needless to say, I'll be sleeping lightly tonight.