This weekend we made another of our semi-regular pilgrimages to the New York Museum of Transportation and the Rochester & Genesee Valley Railroad Museum. This was Christopher's first visit and probably number four or five for Ben.

As the names suggest, kids (especially boys) love this place. There are buses and fire trucks and horse carriages and railcars and trolleys and trains and even more trains. Included in admission is a two-mile track car ride on a short rail line that links the two museums.

In addition to the multitude of climbing and exploring opportunities these museums provide for kids, there is plenty of railroad and transportation geekery to interest the older “kids,” supplied by the dedicated volunteer railroad geeks who staff the museum. These guys, mostly retirees, spend their free weekends lovingly crafting detailed model railways, maintaining the machinery, painstakingly restoring donated engines and railcars, as well as ushering museum visitors and answering countless questions. It's on about the opposite side of the spectrum from the Strong Museum, but the kids seem to have just as much fun.

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Christopher's been settling in to a good routine. We've been making the rounds as best we can, introducing him to friends and family (there are still many more that we want to get to).

Last weekend, we went to the McGinn's for some fun and food. Christopher OD'd on the fun we think, because this was the result at about 7:30PM as the still slightly jet-lagged Christopher ran out of gas. He had been playing pretty hard with big brother Ben and little “brother” Shaun and halfway through dessert, he tilted his head back (mouth still full of cake) and started snoring.

And how do the Smokers treat fellow family members who suffer such a fate?

Why, we laugh at him, eat his cake, and post his picture on the internet.

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by Michael F. Roizen, M.D. and Mehmet C. Oz, M.D.

I haven't posted much lately that is non-Christopher- and non-jazz-related, mostly because not much else has been on my mind; however, there are a couple of things to catch up on (now that our sleep schedules have settled into something resembling a routine) such as the books I've been reading. Here's a good one to start with--especially since I've actually read it all the way through, unlike most of the books still stacked up on the nightstand.

I heard these guys on the Diane Rehm Show awhile back, so one afternoon when I had finally I decided I was tired of watching my midsection expand, I hopped online and bought this book.

Now, let me just say: there is nothing new in this book. As far as the dieting advice goes, it contains nothing that hasn't been covered in umpteen other books on dieting. There is no gimmick or quick fix that will solve the mid-section issue. The bottom line is: consume fewer calories and exercise. Only a change in lifestyle that includes those two components will be successful to anyone who wants to lose weight (or inches)

The difference with this book is in the science. The authors describe how different kinds of behavior will affect your body's chemistry, either delivering nutrition in a physically satisfying way, or triggering the defense mechanisms that store fat and slow metabolism. The authors deliver this scientific mumbo-jumbo in an clever and engaging fashion, with lots of humorous illustrations and anecdotes. My only real gripe is how over-the-top some of this was. It really got head-clutchingly hokey at times--there were more corny similes here than in the entire Encyclopedia Brown series put together.

So we're going to try it out. All whole grains, only lean meat, no sugars, more fruits and vegetables, blah, blah, blah, oh...and regular exercise.

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It seems that Christopher is beginning to process the recent change in his life. He is beginning to attach to us more and more, to the point where he is anxious when either Kari and I aren't around. When he gets nervous or upset or tired, he repeats a mantra in Chinese, “Ma-ma loves Chen-Chen,” over and over. We've been reassuring him of course, but it seems that he is seeking constant affirmation that we will be with him to stay. We've done a little traveling in the past few of days, but we hope to settle into a more regular home routine, which we hope will help give Christopher a better sense of stability.

Meanwhile, Ben is beginning to do some processing of his own. He is anxious that he isn't being replaced and is even more cuddly and demanding of our attention than he was before. Even though this is obviously difficult for him, he's been very understanding. On balance, I think he's still happier to have a playmate than he is sad about having to share our attentions. It will get better as Chris’ English comes along.

On the plus side, we seem to have conquered the jet lag and have settled into a regular sleeping schedule (even though there is nothing regular about the rest of our schedule).

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Sweet Memory
Youth keeps the flying times
in your sweet and young flowers
with strong fragrance.

- a poem (?) from the cover of a photo album purchased by Kari in China.

Posted by ksmoker at 8:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ben's been really good with Christopher, although the language barrier makes it difficult. As expected, Ben remembers almost no Chinese; in fact, he's adopted the American habit of yelling English words loudly in order to be understood. Christopher, of course has no response for this behavior except to occasionally mimic what is being said:

Ben (loudly): “I said, stop playing with my train!!”

Chris (enthusiastically): “Play wif my tray!”

Still, despite the occasional toy-grabbing and ego-bruising, there are moments like those pictured below that make it obvious that these two brothers enjoy being together.

It's 8:30PM and as I type this, the boys are both sleeping soundly. Our greatest wish in life right now is that they make it through the night. I stood watch with the two insomniacs on Wednesday night. To give you a flavor of night two, here's Kari's take:

Kari's Journal - August 9, 2007

[8:00PM - Plan A]
Both boys are asleep at opposite ends of the couch with their legs jumbled together. They are so exhausted we'll just let them sleep there until the United Airways van arrives with Kari's delayed luggage (which should be any minute now), then we'll take them upstairs. Ken and I will get to watch a movie!

[8:30 PM - Plan B]
Van arrives. Dogs bark. Ben wakes up. He wants to see the presents that are packed away in the bag. It's okay. Chris is so wiped out from the trip that he'll sleep on and it will be nice to spend some alone time with Ben. Afterwards, we'll get him to bed and still be able to spend some quiet time together.

[9:20 PM - Plan C]
Ken announces that he can no longer keep his eyes open so he and Ben go upstairs to bed. Maybe a shot of brandy will help, because my body still thinks it's 9:30 AM and despite the long day, I'm still not tired.

OK. In the kitchen now, brandy in hand. Ahhh, that was good. Wait. Am I hallucinating?! There's a Chinese voice speaking English: “Hello Ma-ma! How are you? Thank You! You're welcome! Oh, Oh! Beeeee Careful!”

Oh no! It's a nightmare! It's Christopher and he's way too happy and wide wake. Ok...think fast!

[9:30PM - Plan D]
Maybe he's hungry. Stuff him with food. We have some leftover noodles. Upstairs now, using the potty. Alright, I'll lay him down to sleep next to Ben, so he won't be scared. The only sounds I hear are Ken snoring, Ben snoring, and--squeak! giggle! bang!--Christopher jumping on the bed. Now Ben is moaning...think fast!

[11:00PM -Plan E]
Downstairs to play with Chris. Maybe 3 hours will be enough. In bed by 2AM, this will leave him enough time to sleep and still be up at a decent hour in the morning.

The four animals are waiting in the living room watching in horror as Christopher demands that I pick him up. “Fueiji!” (airplane), he yells. This can't be happening.

Now I hear Ben's voice from the stairwell, “Mooo-mmy, why did you leave me alone upstairs?? Please come to bed.” I reply, “Ben, does Chris look tired to you?” He answers in exasperation,“No!”

[11:30PM - Plan F]
Put Ben on the couch. Stuff cotton into his ears and put a dishtowel over his eyes. Christopher makes a spiral-shaped parade of matchbox cars around the oval coffee table. The animals groan. Ken snores loudly upstairs.

Before long, Chris is in the kitchen jumping up and down, looking for food. More food?! He just ate his weight in noodles. He grabs some dry cat food. I say, “Yuck!” He tries it anyway, “Ymmmm!” I offer him peanut butter on a spoon. “Yuck,” he says. He squints at me like I'm crazy to have offered him this culinary atrocity. I offer him a pistachio. He hesitates. He puts it in his mouth. He yells, “Yuck!!” and spits it out and hands it back to me. We finally agree on watermelon. “Hmmmmm! Sheh-sheh! Thank you, Ma-ma!”

[1:00AM]
Now he's playing with Sam, kissing him and stroking the top of his head. Sam looks at me with his eyes pleading, “Please, please take me to bed!” Buddy's smart. An hour ago when he was sitting next to Chris he yawned, opening his mouth wide in Christopher's face. Having gotten a good look at Buddy's fangs, Chris started yelling. Buddy just got up and sauntered away, mission accomplished. That Chinese kid shouldn't be bothering me for a while, thought Buddy to himself.

[1:20AM]
Chris runs upstairs to use the bathroom. He does his business. Ken snores.

[1:30AM]
He's not tired.

[1:45AM]
He's not tired.

[1:50AM]
He's not tired. Yet another trip to the bathroom, chattering loudly the whole time. After flushing and returning to the hallway, he hears Ken snore. Loudly, he says, “Shhhh! Shhhh!” He's telling me to be quiet...

[2:00AM - Plan G]
Okay, so 2:00AM won't work. Back downstairs and over the next hour, Christopher learns about 1/3 of his ABC's by pushing the LeapFrog refrigerator magnet about 3000 times in a row and singing along. He also has his bicycle helmet on and his sandals on the wrong feet trying to convince me to take him for a car ride. Ben, having slept fitfully on the couch through all of this has finally had enough and joins us in the kitchen. I suggest that he go up and join Daddy (still snoring) in bed. Ben's response is to wrap himself around my left leg. Seeing this, Christopher hugs my right leg. It's 3:00AM. It's time. We go to bed.

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Ben and I arrived at the airport shortly before Kari and Christoper's plane landed in the same glass-enclosed waiting area where Kari first met Ben. George was kind enough to meet us there to provide his inimitable photo-journalist¹ and bellhop services. And I was glad he was there, because once Christopher showed up, I had eyes only for him.

As you can tell from the pictures, he's mostly a blur, constantly in motion from the moment his feet hit the ground. He is also a chatterbox. Last night, he kept up a running stream of commentary from 11:30 to 3:30, with very few pauses. if he doesn't have anything in particular to say, he fills the void with car noises: “deeet, deeet! baaamp, baaamp!” I let Kari sleep after her long trip and stayed up with Chris² as he explored the house and played and played and played with cars (“deeet, deeet!”). Ben tried to keep up, but he ended up falling asleep on the couch around 1:30 AM.

I'm not sure what's going through his head, whether he's figured out that this is his new home or he just thinks it's another hotel stop. He's friendly and even affectionate, but not at all in a cuddly way. His goal when he comes to my outstretched arms is to be launched in the air, not hugged.

So far, Ben is handling this well, although he's asking some pointed questions which are geared toward discovering any new pecking order or determining what Chris is allowed to get away with that he isn't, but he's already showed that he can be patient and understanding with Christopher's exuberance.

I don't know how often I'll be ale to post. I'm already getting a glimpse of what life will be like as a foursome and I'm dying to spend some time with Kari now that we're in the same hemishpere again. I'll try to keep the pictures coming, at least.

Oh yeah, quick P.S.: When we arrived home and I let the dogs out, Christopher immediately started squealing and squirming in Kari's arms and I steeled myself for a long adjustment period. No worries, though. They were squeals of delight. And he was squirming to get out of Kari's arms and down on the dogs’ level, where he was welcomed to the family with a big kiss from Sam.

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Right about now, Kari and Christopher should be hiking across the Hong Kong International Airport, three hours in and 10% of their total travel time completed.

Yesterday was the swearing-in ceremony, as emotionally charged for Kari as it was for me, except that hers were somewhat different emotions. Christopher objected to being taken away from his toys and being made to stand still to listen to the immigration instructions and oath-taking. He expressed his objections loudly. Kari had to retreat to a corner of the room and kind of half-heard and then half-mumbled the oath that she needed to take.

Christopher's tantrum didn't diminish the impact of the ceremony, though. Both he and Kari were emotionally exhausted when they returned to their hotel and maybe Christopher is beginning to comprehend what's about to happen. Earlier in the day a Chinese man that Kari and Christopher met in the hotel took the time to kneel down to Christopher's level and tell him that he is a “lucky boy”. Christopher seemed unsure about what that meant, so the man clarified, “Every morning will be happy for you from now on.”

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Probably something like two hours ago, Kari and Christopher are woke up to their last full day in China. Sometime tonight while Ben and I sleep, Christopher will complete the immigration process at the swearing-in ceremony and then the only thing separating him from the rest of his new family is a looong series of flights.

Here are two more Christopher pictures. One is from the hotel playroom/nursery and in the other you can see Christopher in his favorite backseat-driver position (car seats are likely going to be a whole new experience for him).

Thanks to the Herpins for sending along the pictures and for all of the support they are offering to Kari. You should check out their blog where they've been recording a heart-warming adoption story of their own.

Posted by ksmoker at 9:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

At long last, we get a glimpse of the joy that Kari has experienced for the past week. The family that Kari is traveling with has internet access and was kind enough to email me some pictures.

Here we have Kari and Christopher in front of the waterfall at the famous White Swan Hotel and Christopher having fun with water bottles in their hotel in Nanning. He had that line of water bottles stretching from one end of their room to the other.

I don't have a lot of additional commentary since these picture pretty much speak for themselves. As thrilled as Ben and I are to finally get a look at Christopher, we're now all the more anxious and impatient to meet him in person.

Posted by ksmoker at 10:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Kari and Christopher are now in Guangzhou. Nanning was hot, but as Kari recognized as soon as they stepped off the plane, Guangzhou is hotter.

Something that Kari is having to deal with on this trip is separation anxiety. Unlike Ben, who spent most of his days in the orphanage, Christopher was placed with a foster family. Yesterday, Christopher got one last chance to say goodbye (although he may not have fully realized the implications) when his foster mother came to the hotel as Kari and Christopher were leaving for the airport. It was a touching farewell as Kari, while Christopher was tugging on her in his excitement to get in the car, gave his foster mother a hug of thanks, one Ma-ma to another.

Having made it successfully to Guangzhou, Christopher seemed to begin processing the situation when they arrived at their hotel room. He began to quietly cry and demanded that the bellhop tell him where his mother was. After explaining to Christopher that Kari was his mother, the bellhop slowly and anxiously backed his way out of the room. After a half-hour or so, Kari was finally able to console Christopher, but it's clear that we will need to be careful helping Christopher through the transition to his new family.

Luckily, Kari is now traveling with another family who are able to provide some additional emotional (and luggage handling) support. Although the guides have been wonderful, it's nice for Kari to have some native English speakers she can turn to.

Posted by ksmoker at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Yesterday Kari and Christopher took a drive to the countryside to see the famous mountains of Guangxi. Christopher kept up a steady dialogue with the driver, asking him about each kind of car on the road and shouting out driving instructions. Twice, he had the driver laughing so hard that Kari was afraid for their safety.

After arriving at their destination, Kari started taking pictures of the scenery and two local boys (somewhere in the 8- to 10-yr-old range) starting playfully teasing her and Christopher, mugging for the camera and running into the frame whenever she tried to snap a shot. Having had enough, Christopher went up to the boys and scolded them in no uncertain terms, “You boys are not nice! Stop being mean to me and my Ma-ma!”

Kari and Christopher have a busy day ahead, which will include last-minute scrambling to finalize Christopher's passport/visa and then boarding a brief flight to Guangzhou where they will be completing the US Immigration paperwork prior to the swearing-in ceremony and the long flight home. Because of the travel, I probably won't have the next update until Saturday morning EDT at the earliest.

Posted by ksmoker at 9:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

With daytime temperatures about 70 degrees warmer (Fahrenheit) than what Ben and I had to contend with, Kari and Christopher are taking advantage of the weather as much as possible. This was an off day as far as official business goes, so they went to an amusement park. Christopher is learning the meaning of the English word “No!” as Kari spent much of her time chasing after him and (attempting) to keep him out of trouble. Meanwhile, he continues to crack everyone up around him with his comments and observations. On the way to the amusement park, Christopher carefully watched the crazy Chinese traffic and proclaimed to the driver, “That person better not crash into us or I will punish him and he will have to pay the price of one Yuan!”¹

So Christopher clearly has a lot in common with Ben: he's fearless, outspoken, and headstrong. But Kari's just starting to get to know him (and he's just starting to get to know Kari). Whereas Ben and I bonded pretty much immediately (helped along no doubt by my five-year-old sense of humor), Christopher is a bit more reserved with his affections. It seems like Kari is having to work a little harder to draw him out.

She's doing a great job, though. Christopher's whole world is changing and Kari is letting him work through the change at his own pace. As difficult as it is, she's savoring every moment along the way.

Posted by ksmoker at 9:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)