Scene: Bedtime in the Smoker house. Teeth have been brushed, pajamas donned, but non-stop, high-decibel chatter continues...

Kari: Okay! I need everyone to stop talking for a while!

Chris: Why can't--

Kari: Stop!

Cris: Uuuugh!

Ben: Why--

Kari: Stop!!

Chris: Uuuuuughh!

Ben (rapidly): Why-can't-we-talk?

Kari: St-- Because! You've been driving me crazy for the past half hour!

Chris: Oh.

Ben: Oh.

Kari: ...

Chris: ...

Ben: ...

Chris (loudly): Hey Ben! Do you want to see Optimus Prime crash really hard?

Ben: Sure!

Kari: Uuuuugh!

Posted by ksmoker at 9:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We had a great Christmas vacation. The boys love Christmas, of course, and we got to visit with family we hadn't seen in a while (or at all, in the case of Ben and Christopher's baby cousin, Catherine). The travel even went well. The long drive to North Carolina and the shorter drive to Pennsylvania were uneventful both weather-wise and stir-crazy-kids-in-the-backseat-wise.

Mostly.

With about three hours left in our two-day trip home from North Carolina, Kari gave Christopher his regular medication in the form of a small chewable tablet.

Heaven knows why, maybe it was just a little bit too quiet in the back seat, but a minute or tow later it occurred to Kari to ask, "Christopher, have you taken your pill yet?"

"No," was the sheepish reply.

Now, Christopher is generally good about taking his meds, so Kari's rejoinder was somewhat incredulous: "Well?! Where is your pill?"

"In my nose."

"What??!!"

"Right here," he said, pointing to a place between his eyes.

I immediately pulled the car over into a small church parking lot, got out, circled around to Christopher's side of the car, opened the back door, and, peering up Christopher's nostril, called out to Kari like a surgeon to a nurse, "Tweezers!"

Kari, already on top of the situation, smacked the tweezers into the palm of my hand and the next thirty seconds or so were tense as I tried to extricate the slippery white tablet without shoving it deeper in. Finally, I resorted to what should have been Plan A in the first place and called to Kari, "Kleenex!"

Three blows and out it popped. Kari and I were nearly in unison: "Now pick it up and eat it!"

Ten seconds later we were back on the road, a minimal impact on the trip's overall miles-per-hour average.

Posted by ksmoker at 10:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

(In the car, riding home from school. Ben and Christopher are in the back seat. Ken is driving. Ben is thinking of ways to earn some extra cash.)

Ben: On Saturday, can we go around the neighborhood and sell the paper airplanes I made? I could sell them for a dollar each!

Ken: Well, you need to know your market, right? Do you think people will want to spend a whole dollar on a paper airplane?

Ben: Why not?

Ken: You need to sell things people want. Like in the summer, kids sell lemonade because it's hot and people are thirsty, right?

Christopher (exuberant): And it's yummy!!

Ben: So, maybe...maybe we could sell...hats.

Ken: Sure! It's cold, right? And people want to keep their ears warm, right?

Christopher (silly): And it's yummy!

Ben: Yeah, Mommy could make the hats and I'll be the manager! And you guys can be my...workers!

Ken (dubious): Yeah....

Christopher: And what will I do?

Ben: You can draw the pictures, and Mommy will use the pictures to know how to make the hats.

Ken: So, you've got design, and production, and management. What else do you need?

Ben: And you can tell people to buy the hats!

Christopher: Me too!

Ken: So...now you've got sales. What about HR or Accounting?

Ben: What?

Ken: Well, you need someone to keep track of all the money you will be making and so you can pay your workers...

Ben: Right, I'll give some money to the workers and the rest I'll use to buy toys!

Ken: Right. That's called spending the profits.

Posted by ksmoker at 8:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Belated Christopher surgery update: all is well with the pressure in his eyes. For now at least. It will be something that the doctors will continue to monitor as the valve implant will likely need to be replaced at some point, but we couldn't be happier with the results. No more eye drops!

In other news, we've begun teaching Christopher braille. Why braille, you ask, when he (to all outward appearances at least) is coping just fine using his (limited) vision? Well, after discussing it, Kari & I agreed that we have to be prepared for the chance that his vision will deteriorate. Might as well start training Christopher now while his brain is still so spongelike (see how quickly he picked up English!).

Another, and perhaps an even bigger, factor in the decision is that once he is actively reading and interacting in our text-rich world, he is going to need as many different kinds of inputs as he can get. Even though there are all kinds of magnifiers, large-print books, and assistive computer interfaces for those with low vision, we've learned that it is mentally and physically exhausting to have to interact with text at a large size. Imagine what it would be like to have to read a book or a newspaper article when you can only take in two or three words at a time.

On the other hand, maybe that is the kind of thing Christopher can adapt to. This video is literally the third time Christopher has interacted with a computer. Of course, it's easy to maintain a certain level of stamina when you keep shoving grapes into your mouth.

Posted by ksmoker at 8:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's almost hard to believe that Ben's already turned seven-years-old, but as of the 10th, he has. There were only two things he really wanted: a Playmobile camper and a trip to see his friend Audrey. Thankfully, we pulled off both along with a small, but very fun homemade pizza party.

Ben and Christopher have both been crazy for Playmobile toys ever since we bought a big airplane for Ben for his sixth birthday. And, of course, it's no secret that Ben is crazy about Audrey as well. Unfortunately, the only pictures we got of the trip came at the end as we were trying to wrangle the kids together for a group photo. It's clear that Ben and Audrey were struggling with the impending departure.

Posted by ksmoker at 9:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Scene: Interior of car, at about hour 4 of a 7-hour ride home from a weekend trip to visit friends. Mother and Father are in the front seat keeping their mouths shut. Ben and Christopher are in the back seat negotiating over toys.

Ben (pleading): If you give me the truck I will give you the bicycle.

Christopher (considering): Hmmmm.

B: No, truck. No, bicycle.

C: ...

B: Yes, truck. Yes, bicycle.

C (triumphant): No, truck. Yes, bicycle!

Posted by ksmoker at 9:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Actually, it was a year ago last night that our family got just a little bit bigger, but a whole lot more exciting. It's hard to believe it's been only a year. It seems like we've been through at least four or five years worth of doctor's appointments, hospital visits, falls, scrapes, bumps, bruises, giggles, shouts of glee, hugs, and kisses.

We knew pretty much right away what we were getting ourselves into, of course. And we wouldn't trade a single minute.

Posted by ksmoker at 8:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So we ordered some delicious Thai/Vietnamese takeout tonight as part of a small celebration (more about that to come). At first, I thought that it was nice of the restaurant to provide the friendly, happy “Have a Nice Day” bags, but then after looking a little closer, we're not sure they actually meant it. As Kari said, “It's just not very convincing, is it?”

Posted by ksmoker at 9:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I spent some time cleaning and vacuuming the house on Saturday, dimly aware that Ben and Chris were following along behind me with a project of their own.

Posted by ksmoker at 12:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

It is Friday morning in a local coffee shop. The morning rush has past and patrons and coffee-baristas are settling into a more relaxed pace. Kari, Ben, and Christopher have arrived, a part of a semi-regular morning routine for coffee and cookies.

Kari is sharing the cream and sugar and napkin and stirrer table with a college-aged kid. He is tall, with long blonde hair (“scraggly” is the word Kari used) and is rather scruffily dressed. Christopher is catching up with a table of regulars showing off his car and newly acquired cookies. He turns and sees his mother, cocks his head to get a better focus on the scene, then turns back to the table and announces in his loud and enthusiastic voice: “That girl looks just like my daddy!”

Posted by ksmoker at 6:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Scene: In the car on the way home from school. Kari is driving. Ben and Christopher are riding in the back seat.

Ben: Mommy? Could you put in the train song, please?

Christopher: Train Song!!

Kari: Just a minute Ben, I need to get onto the highway before I dig out the CD and I need to keep my eyes on the road.

Ben: Wellllll... You could just keep one eye on the road and use the other eye to find the cd.

Kari: Benjamin, I can't do that.

Ben: You're right. Only boys can do that.

(Kari looks in rear view mirror and watches Ben wiggle his eyes from left to right, back and forth several times testing it out for himself. He sees Kari watching him and blushes.)

Ben: (under his breath) Oh, I guess boys can't do that either.

Posted by ksmoker at 8:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

We've been geting some wacky weather lately. This past Saturday, I spent a good chunk of the afternoon scraping two layers of snow and slush from on top of the remaining layer of ice that still coated the driveway. Since then we've gotten more snow, some sleet, snow again, and then freezing rain. The driveway now has several strata of different forms of winter accumulation, including an crusty outer shell that crunches satisfyingly whenever you take a step.

Ben and Christopher had great fun with the snow tonight. They spent nearly two hours strip-mining the backyard of big US-state-shaped sheets of ice from that top, crusty layer that they then deposited in their red wagon. Ben identified one chunk of ice as roughly matching the shape of Pennsylvania. There was also a Minnesota-shaped piece that he recognized, although he referred to it as “the soldier's hat,” instead.

Posted by ksmoker at 10:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This was Christopher's first Christmas (in this country at least) and, well, let's just say he's on-board with the concept. Weeks of anticipation (“Christopher's turn for presents!”) culminated in a Christmas morning jubilee as Chris and Ben took turns tearing open presents and then spent the entire day reveling in their new-found toydom. Christopher spent most of the day playing with his new school bus (neither the first nor the last one he received for Christmas---apparently word had gotten out) while Ben watched his new Ratatoullie DVD twice in one afternoon.

They had gotten a little bit of a Christmas preview after our week-long visit to see Kari's parents in NC, where, of course, the boys were rightfully spoiled silly. We survived the long car trip (thankfully the weather was cooperative) and had a lovely time with Christopher meeting his grandparents for the first time. It was also the first time we got to meet our nephew Freddy, who is a cutie-pie-and-a-half. Fun with toys, long breakfasts, more fun with toys, the occasional trip to the store, delicious dinners, more fun with toys, and lots of grandparently love made for a perfect opening to the Christmas season.

As much fun as we had in the South, it was still nice to get home to relax and enjoy the holiday in our own house. After our brief interlude, we were back on the road again for a weekend trip to my parents house. More family introductions for Christopher and more toys and fun with cousins. Despite being the odd-man out in most of the group kid play, Cristopher didn't seem to mind (indeed, he asserted himself most effectively). Meanwhile, Ben played his first games of Go Fish and Boggle, while we learned how to play a fun new Scrabble-y game called Bananagrams.

It was a wild and crazy couple of weeks, but to our relief (and the kids' dismay) we have now gotten back to some semblance of the pre-holiday routine.

Posted by ksmoker at 8:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

On Monday, December 17, we took another trip to Family Court and made official in the eyes of New York State our adoption of Christopher. Against all odds, Christopher sat still long enough for Judge O'Connor to sign the paperwork as we passed another milestone in our family expansion project. Thankfully, we were able to get into the judge's schedule before she hung up her robe for good. Special thanks to George for coming along to share in the event and take some pictures (and occasionally wrestle a squirming Christoper to the ground).

Posted by ksmoker at 8:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Just a few stats and observations:

• # of attendees: at least 50
• # of pies: 11
• my ping-pong record: 0 wins, 3 losses--Tim claimed that his ping-pong skillz were “rusty,” but Ted, as an impartial observer, thought that our matches weren't as close as the scores would indicate.
• For the second time in three years, there was no Turkey Bowl, I'm not sure why.
• This year, foosball was added to the mix of post-prandial activities.
• Christopher thought it would be fun to inaugurate his first Thanksgiving by singing the Bob the Builder theme song during the mealtime prayer.
• The awesome cranberry relish made a repeat appearance (Jane's recipe, I think?).
• Brendan is just about as cute as a baby can get.

Posted by ksmoker at 9:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Tonight we had a couple of new animals in the house. In the one image, you can see the pig pulling on the tail of the monkey.

And you wonder why I couldn't get a good picture of the two of them together.

Posted by ksmoker at 9:29 PM | Permalink

This weekend we made another of our semi-regular pilgrimages to the New York Museum of Transportation and the Rochester & Genesee Valley Railroad Museum. This was Christopher's first visit and probably number four or five for Ben.

As the names suggest, kids (especially boys) love this place. There are buses and fire trucks and horse carriages and railcars and trolleys and trains and even more trains. Included in admission is a two-mile track car ride on a short rail line that links the two museums.

In addition to the multitude of climbing and exploring opportunities these museums provide for kids, there is plenty of railroad and transportation geekery to interest the older “kids,” supplied by the dedicated volunteer railroad geeks who staff the museum. These guys, mostly retirees, spend their free weekends lovingly crafting detailed model railways, maintaining the machinery, painstakingly restoring donated engines and railcars, as well as ushering museum visitors and answering countless questions. It's on about the opposite side of the spectrum from the Strong Museum, but the kids seem to have just as much fun.

Posted by ksmoker at 7:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Setting
Outdoors on the quad of a historically Catholic college campus. The quad is surrounded by vaguely gothic, tan brick buildings. The grass is green the sun is shining. Birds chirp. College students walk to and fro across the quad.

Time
Mid-April. A warm, sunny morning.

Characters
Father Joe - Director of Campus Ministry--think of him as the abbot.
Ben - Highly inquisitive five-year-old boy.
Kari - Mother of Ben. Enjoys letting Ben speak for himself.

Act I, Scene I
(At a picnic table Kari and Ben sit and share a snack of grapes that they had picked up from a buffet table inside one of the buildings. Father Joe emerges on a balcony above and lights a cigar. After some time, Ben takes notice of Father Joe and waves. Father Joe waves back.)

Ben (shouting): What are you doing up there?

Father Joe (exhales a plume of smoke): Looking around. What are you doing?

Ben (still shouting): I'm eating these grapes.

(Ben waves a bunch of grapes in the air. Squirrels scramble after the grapes that have been shaken free and sent rolling down the footpath.)

Father Joe: Grapes? That's great, those are really good for you.

Ben: Where do you get these grapes?

Father Joe: From my grape tree.

Ben: Where is your grape tree?

Father Joe: Next to the spaghetti tree.

Ben: Where's your pasghetti tree?

Father Joe: The pasghetti tree is next to my sausage tree.

Ben: Where's the sausage tree?

Father Joe: Next to my meatball tree.

(Pause. Ben considers his options.)

Ben: How did you get up there?

Father Joe: I threw a rope over the rail here and climbed up.

Ben (eyes widen): Where's the rope?

Father Joe: I put it away. Over there.

(Father Joe points to bell tower on opposite side of the quad. Ben squints in the general direction of the bell tower.)

Ben: Well...how are you going to get down?

Father Joe: Through this door here behind me.

Ben (undaunted): What if someone locks it?

(Father Joe pulls out a heavy, jangling keyring and holds it up for Ben to see.)

Father Joe : I'll use one of these to open it.

Ben (losing interest): Okay, I have to go now. Do a good job!

(Ben and Kari gather the grape stems, wave goodbye. Father Joe waves and watches as they exit stage left.)

Posted by ksmoker at 9:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Only way I could be more proud of this picture would be if Ben and I had been sending each other IMs at the time.

Posted by ksmoker at 9:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The only stat that I have this year the pie-to-person ratio of 1:5. I didn't take part in the Turkey Bowl--the competition looked pretty fierce, BTW. I, um, forgot the my win-loss record in in head-to-head ping-pong matches against dad, but I do know that I was undefeated against Ted.

The weather was excellent as was the company as also was the food. We had the usual menu of turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, creamed corn, baked beans, etc. By "the usual menu," I mean that in a don't-mess-with-a-good-thing kind of way. And that is not to say that we shouldn't add to the menu. This year, Jane brought an awesome cabbage-relishy-type dish for which I'm hoping she'll send the recipe.

Posted by ksmoker at 2:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

 

Posted by ksmoker at 11:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My first swing-set as a kid was a little metal store-bought deal with the flat plastic seats supported by the double-link chains that you would pinch your fingers on. As my sister and I grew in size and daring, the whole frame would wobble and threaten to flip off its moorings whenever we got too rambunctious.

Now, of course, this is a situation which my father could not put up with for long. Swing-set v2.0 was constructed from barn-beam timbers with wooden seats and twisted wire cable (with a protective wrapping of thick polyethylene hose). A rarely used chin-up bar was a last minute addition. My sense of scale is probably way off, but I remember this swing as being ten to twelve feet high.

The third family swing was the result of a move across the creek and featured a return to the A-frame style construction of the store-bought swing, but on a scale that Dad could live with. Not quite as tall as the barn-beam swing, but just as solid, this version was built from old steel or iron piping welded together. I was too old by this time to have used this swing enough to remember the details well, but I think chain was back with rubber seats as the new feature. The other reason for my hazy memory is that we moved again about fifteen years ago (the problem with Dad's swingsets is that they don't travel well).

 

Now, finally, after a handful of barely mentionable tree swings, a new generation prepares for Swing-set Mark IV. I didn't have my tape measure, but I think that is four-inch angle iron welded to a truck wheel base and braced by pipes also welded to truck wheels. Unfortunately, I don't have any action shots; the ground was too soft to bring the back-hoe in to hoist the posts and cross-beam into place. The next report will show either the finished product or photos of the construction in progress.

Posted by ksmoker at 9:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

This morning began like any other morning. After letting the dogs out, I went down into the basement to relieve myself, little thinking of what danger might lie ahead.

Still in my early morning pre-caffienated state, I puzzled over the foamy bubbles that began to fill the toilet bowl as I emptied my bladder. The bubbles, in fact, threatened to overflow the bowl and I began to suspect that they might be the result of Clorox bleach left in the bowl (unflushed) as part of Kari's recent attempt at sanitization.

Those who paid attention in high school chemistry class can already see where this is heading.

I did pay at least a little bit of attention in high school chemistry class, so my brain, still only halfway through the bootup stage, began activating the neurons assigned to the words "bleach" and "ammonia" and "bad idea." My brain's "danger-avoidance" process had not yet been activated, but the "curiosity" process had, so I took a brief sniff.

You ever watch a boxing match, and between rounds the manager cracks open a vial of smelling salts and you see the groggy boxer shake his head and immediayely wake up? Well take that idea and multiply by about 150. Next thing I know, I'm out in the backyard wheezing with the smell of 5000 swimming pools swirling around my nostrils.

After regaining my composure, I went back inside, closing the door between the basement and the house and opening the door from the basement to the outside. As I was setting up an industrial-strength fan in the basement (while holding my breath), I began to ponder the fact that Kari had just verified her status as primary beneficiary of my life insurance policy only two days prior.

Needless to say, I'll be sleeping lightly tonight.

Posted by ksmoker at 9:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

So is it a problem if my son gets really excited by the Enzyte commercials?

The other day while I was whistling along to the Enzyte theme song, Ben pressed his head up against the tv speaker and wondered aloud how I got the tv to make that sound.

Luckily, it's only the music that has his attention so far.

Posted by ksmoker at 9:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)